How to help your teen get enough sleep

Would you love your teen or preteen to get more sleep? 

We know its important for our kids to get enough sleep.  Lack of sleep affects our teens mood, their ability to think, concentrate and function, and can lead to risky behaviours and poor decision making.

But it's a tough one.  Few teens get enough sleep and staying up late is a hard habit to break.  I know my kids often don't get enough sleep and we have constant conversations about devices, the need for all of us to be intentional about switching off and the importance of about self-care,  which should always be top of our lists.

Helping our kids adopt good sleep habits starts with open, non-judgmental conversations. Teens are developmentally striving for autonomy and independence, their devices are an integral part of their lives AND their sleep patterns are changing.  With all this in mind, talking about sleep is about helping them learn to make informed choices, and take responsibility for their well-being, especially around screens, while contributing to setting some family limits and routines around bedtime and sleep.  Sleep is vital for their physical and mental health so we want to do all we can to help them get into good habits while they still go to sleep before we do and they're still under our roof.

Try this approach: 

1. Empathise – "I know you love staying up late and I know you use your phone to relax at night. I’m worried that you’re not getting enough sleep. It’s especially hard but important at your age.'

2. Share the benefits of sleep and chat about other positives always in a relaxed rather than a nagging or preachy way :
·     Sleep boosts memory and cognitive activity and helps concentration and problem-solving. 
·     Adequate sleep contributes to our mood and outlook – It’s really important to our mental health. The world looks  better and we’re generally nicer to be around with enough sleep ( I know I am)
·     Good sleep strengthens the immune system and our metabolism.
·     Sleep supports growth and development.

3. Make getting enough sleep relatable to their interests and passions – whether it’s their sport, artistic, academic, or social activity – or perhaps all of them. Chat about how sleep contributes to them achieving their goals and how they feel when they don’t get enough sleep.

4. Talk about sleep and screens.  It's one of the hardest things to manage given the presence and pull of screens but  it’s an important part of learning to look after themselves. Getting off screens one hour before bed and ideally keeping them out of bedrooms helps us all sleep (blue light interrupts natural sleep rhythms and stimulation makes it hard for the brain to switch off).

5. Empathise some more – ‘This is one of the hardest things for teens. There's always something to look at and you might feel you're missing out on things when you don’t have your phone next to your pillow. That’s tough.'

6. Work together to set appropriate bedtime and morning routines that work for them and help them take responsibility.  It might include getting the morning organised the night before ( lunch, clothes etc.) so they can sleep to the last minute. Keeping devices out of the bedroom at a set time, the wifi going off for everyone, and devices available in the morning when the evening routine has been followed (for everyone).  Perhaps you start slowly and agree that they can keep using their phone to listen to music to fall asleep and but put it on sleep mode and turn off all notifications. Take one step at a time and keep talking.

7. Lead by example - Put your phone outside your room.  Model a consistent healthy sleep schedule as well as sharing when you find it tough.

8. Offer empathy and support. Even for teens, we each have different sleep needs, but we do know that with so many distractions, many of our teens are just not getting enough good sleep and they need our support. For those who have chronic sleep deprivation, it’s important to see your GP or seek professional help.