Mornings! Mayhem or Magic?

A new approach to your morning routine.

Do you find yourself dropping your children at school or nursery and driving or walking away feeling guilty, disappointed or distraught that the morning didn't go as planned.. again.  You may have thought “this term we'll crack this morning routine” and still find yourself resorting to nagging or shouting in an effort to get everyone out the door on time. 

Morning is full of opportunities for power struggles, conflicting agendas, siblings spats and short fuses.   But it doesn’t have to be this way. Here are a few ideas for a calmer, quieter, happier start to your day:

· Sleep: A happy morning starts the night before. You all need a full night’s sleep. If everyone is only waking to the alarm in the morning, then perhaps you are not getting enough. Have an age appropriate bedtime routine for each child and turn off technology one hour before bed. Put all devices in the “drop zone” which is out of the bedroom (Mum and Dad too) and you will find it much easier to get up in the morning. Treat sleep as sacred.

· Prepare for your morning the night before. Have a family brain storm about what you can all do in the evening to make the morning run smoothly: make the lunches, put all the school bags, projects, sports equipment by the door, choose breakfasts, set all clothes out or find that toy to take in so there are fewer things to remember in the morning. Giving your kids age appropriate responsibilities, with your support when needed, not only sets them up for morning success but you're training your kids in vital good habits.

· Make it light hearted and fun - age appropriate of course! Perhaps have your child lay the clothes on the floor item by item in the order they get put on. Put the toy with a spoon in its hand on the breakfast bowl. Hug and kiss them after they put on each item of clothes and use lots of humour. Descriptively praise every small step in the right direction: “you remembered that your vest goes UNDER your shirt!”  You might put a humourous post-it note on your teen's bag to acknowledge that he remembered to put it by the door.

· Connection time: Rather than opening the curtains and asking them to wake up, jump into bed and steal a cuddle before their day begins. Empathise: “I bet you wish that we could stay under this duvet all day long. Me too!”. “It's hard getting up now after a term of early mornings”. Talk about something you are both looking forward to in your day. “I am really looking forward to going to the park when I pick you up from school. Shall we start on the swings or the zip wire?” You'll be thinking - 'how would I ever have time for that!".  When we're well prepared, we have more time to connect. 

· Keep it simple to succeed:  With everything done the night before you have made a great start. Put a toothbrush downstairs. Keep a hair brush in the car with extra hair ties. We are looking to avoid the power struggles.  A few mornings with toast on your lap in the car rather than a the emotional tail that a huge argument can leave for the rest of the day, is ok.  Help your children feel successful in their morning and they will get off to school feeling good about themselves, and you too! 

· Give them choices: Giving choices reduces power struggles as no one wants all their decisions made for them. “Are you going to get dressed before or after your breakfast?”'Shall we make that smoothly with the raspberries this morning?" “Would you rather run upstairs to brush your teeth, or brush them down here?” “Are you going to put your coat or your shoes on first?”.

· Role Play : If you have a young child who really has trouble in the morning, choose some toys and act out your morning at the weekend when you are all calm and relaxed. Make it fun and lighthearted. You may get some great ideas on how you can make the morning work for you both.

· 15 minutes : Tomorrow morning try getting up 15 minutes earlier so that you are prepared, organised and calm. Give that precious time back to your children and they won’t head off to school feeling frantic and rushed but rather feeling calm, connected and ready for their day.