Anxiety:  Four Tips from the experts on how to help our kids cope

Last week I attended the UK premiere of the new documentary Angst: Raising Awareness Around Anxiety . Following this thought provoking film the expert panel answered my question on what parents can do to address the weight of expectation that can lead to anxiety in our always-on, exam driven, competitive culture. They then added their one top take away – great practical thoughts:

1)Penny Marr, Counselling Psychotherapist: Be very honest about your expectations. Many parents are not aware of their own expectations. We need to be realistic. Children can feel anxious if they feel pressured into or unable to live up to high expectations. Top Takeaway: Show vulnerability to your children- do something where you are sure that you will fail.

2)Carl Honore, TED speaker and guru of the Slow Parenting Movement: Take them away from themselves. Research shows that voluntary activity and giving time and energy to others is a cornerstone of health and well-being. Top Takeaway: Put a huge puzzle on the kitchen table – this becomes an oasis where the parents can be present and the whole family will find themselves talking – even the teens.

3)Melissa Hood, Parent Practice Founder and author of ‘Real Parenting for Real Kids”: Think about the language you use and how this can project your expectations and pressure onto your children. Although we mean to be encouraging, we need to focus on praising the process – attitude, effort and strategies rather than the outcome. Top Takeaway: Ask your children for help and have them teach you something- technology is a good one!

4)Fionnuala Kennedy – Deputy Head Wimbledon High School. Think about how you try and take stress away from your children. Stress does not have to negative. Children need to experience and learn how to manage different stressful situations and this builds resilience. Don’t rescue them (when they forget their homework or their gym kit!). Let them build capabilities and competences as that is empowering. Top Takeaway: Let your children be bored.